Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize