you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize