i would punch a child for taco bell
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
