CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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