All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
this will be a night to untag.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
