I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
