How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
