I accidentally burped into my bong.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i think i just lost a toe
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
