Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
