I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
