Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize