I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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