i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
