Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
