I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
