Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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