trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
