Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
