who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
