try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
