Kiss
Puke
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
