is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
