And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
