brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
