i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That accounts for only three of the penises
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
