yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize