everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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