I feel like abortions should bother me more
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
