youre lurking in front of me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
