We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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