How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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