I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
