no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
