I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
