I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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