you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
