You're completely useless in the revolution.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Never joke about your clitoris.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize