im so drunk with asians
where?
always
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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