so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
