how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
