He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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