I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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