Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
