These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
