I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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