don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
