Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
