I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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