I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
