Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
