My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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