She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
