Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
