i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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