peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
